Stop Violence! Stop Rape! Stop Bullying!











{August 11, 2012}   DON’T JUDGE, DON’T GOSSIP, GET OVER YOURSELF!!

**As if living with the scars and painfully vivid memories of childhood sex abuse isn’t bad enough, people gossip about it behind your back. This is something I’m working on with one of my friends in my town.

My female friend stopped by for “girl talk”. We were having fun and enjoying ourselves until my male friend was brought up. They were a couple that could not be separated even with a blow torch. Which is why I was(still am) completely shocked when she said that a certain person told her about his childhood. She said,”That just sickens me. I could have gone my whole life without knowing that. I broke up with him because it sickens me he is so weak he let that happen to him”. HE WAS A CHILD! NO CHILD, NOT EVEN SOMEONE AS ‘PERFECT” AS YOU COULD FIGHT OFF SOMEONE THREE TIMES YOUR SIZE! FOR YOU TO BREAK UP WITH HIM, AND NOT EVEN TALK TO HIM BECAUSE OF THAT, WELL IT MAKES YOU NOTHING MORE THAN A PERNICIOUSLY  CRUEL PERSON. I told her what happened to me. She said,”Why are you telling me this? It sickening, and I don’t need to hear it.” I told her,”I’m telling you this because it happens more than you realize. If you want to judge me for it, not be my friend anymore, that’s perfectly fine with me. I’m so sorry your “precious” ears can’t tolerate reality.” Well we had a few words. I haven’t heard from her since. I’m ashamed I even had a friend like that. It’s not what she thinks. I didn’t choose him over her. I stood up for him because she was in the wrong to be so malicious. To think she can gossip about it pisses me off. I always stand up for people who deserve it. I know what’s right, and I don’t care if I lose friends over it. 

If he wanted her to know he would have told her himself; which is why I kept my mouth shut.  Now I talk to him via text messaging. He is understandably hurt and is having a very hard time understanding why this person would talk about it. Even more hurt that she is such a malicious bitch and broke up with him over it.

I already knew what he went through as a child, now he is pretty much reliving it. He loved her. Now he feels so alone. He is extremely hurt and angry this happened. I talk to him everyday. I’m letting him know that he is not alone. Even at 2 am he sends me text messages. I talk to him, sometimes call him if it sounds like he is going to harm himself. I gave him a few support groups for male survivors in the area. I told him that not everybody is going to understand. Some will behave like that bitch, and it will astonish you how many people will relate to you and support you. I finally talked him into going to a support group locally. Online is fine and a great way to test the water, but eventually you do want some face to face friends who will empathize and support you.

Well, that’s what’s been going on. I lost a friend because I stood up for another. That’s fine with me. If I knew what a judgmental, vindictive bitch she was, I never would have had her for a friend. She gossips like she’s 15 years old. Grow up woman.

Judging, gossiping, hurts more than you know. Stop living under a brick. Sexual abuse is not funny and should not be the hot topic at the water cooler.    

                                                                                                                                                         **Be Careful. It could happen to anybody; child and adult alike.  How about some empathy before you start playing God and passing judgment on others.                                                                            

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I am so proud of you for standing up for him!! And then for sharing your own story on top of it. I would’ve just completely shut off and got away from her as quickly as possible. You are so courageous to risk getting hurt by standing up for someone. And what you say is true. It’s the friends who know us and still stand by us that are the real friends.



Well Thank you for the kind words. I’ve always had this quality about me. I stick up for those who deserve, regardless of how it will make me look. It’s not about me. It’s about sticking up for those who can not defend themselves. Right now he is so sad and upset that he is still in love with her; despite the fact that she is a judgmental, cruel, gossiping,lady with a vicious cold heart. I can relate to his feelings, I understand the bitter taste of the cruelties of humanity.
As of right now, he is my only friend in real life. Online I have a few, only one truly understands me. Like me he disappears for a while, then returns. I’ve lost many friends due to me doing the “Right” thing. The rest, I’ve lost contact with.(I move around so much) I would rather have no friends except my online contacts and a therapist, then be around human beings who are fake and behave as children. In the end we all find out who are real friends are. I’m fine with having none except him , a therapist, and my online buddies. Thanks again. Take Care.



Yeah, so many people are fake. But I’m glad you have him still, and I hope you find some more face-to-face friends who are real, and who truly care. I’ve got a few, though most of our contact is online. But they help me so much. And same to you– take care.



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